Usually October is my very favourite month of the year. I love the crisp weather, the intoxicating colours of the arboreal palette (oh yeah, i know the word arboreal), the rustling sound of leaves being walked through, the smell of the first fireplace fires in the air, and Hallowe'en.
This year all those things were in place, and brought me moments of soulful satisifaction. But also this year, October just plain sucked.
The theme of the month seemed to be an attempt at snatching bits of future away from me. Career, money, encounters with others' mortality, and even serious news about my own health. Somehow the universe wants me to remain firmly grounded in the present and release or seriously rethink the way I've been looking at my future. Opportunities I thought would be mine literally vanished from possibility, and challenges I never thought I'd have to face suddenly became all too real.
Incredibly, I'm pretty much okay with it. If I had my druthers, things would go differently - but I take solace in trusting that my druthers may not be in complete alignment with the universe's plan for me, and that there are endless possibilities and opportunities that I have not even considered yet. Don't get me wrong, this peace and maturity isn't in me 24/7 and I've been throwing more than my share of fits; but always, eventually, I come back to realize that this is a journey - I am the driver, I am the navigator, I can stop any time I want or forge ahead, but I didn't build the road. A better road-builder than me did so.
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